Posted by on Jun 1, 2015

Coach Robbie was the socially awkward ginger kid who growing up loved Hulk Hogan, Captain America, and video games. He believes deep down we all have heroes inside waiting to shine. It’s dangerous to go alone, so he’ll help conquer your fitness quest — together. Want to train with Robbie? We can hook you up.

“If I eat avocados will they get rid of my bell fat?”

“I heard carbs are bad for you and I should eat like a caveman, is that true?”

“What foods can I eat that will make me lose weight?”

THESE FOODS ARE MADE OF MAGIC (not really)

The “magic” food question is among the top five questions I am asked as a fitness coach. Everyone is looking for that one food that “Alakazam” and “poof” makes all the fat disappear off their back, abs, and arms overnight.

Weekly, maybe even daily, we are bombarded with ads or news stories covering some new supplement or exotic food that is the Holy Grail of fat loss.

As far as I am concerned there is only one person who ever found a Holy Grail and that is Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones might be one of the greatest film franchises of all time.  So much so, that my fiancé (now wife) suggested that I and my groomsmen walk down the aisle for our wedding to the Indiana Jones theme. Mark that as another reason why I married this amazing woman.

Last Crusade is by far my favorite in the entire Indiana Trilogy.  Yes, I said Trilogy, Crystal Skull was just a bad dream that somehow got brought to reality via a warm hole opened by transcendental beings.

If you have never seen Last Crusade, all I can ask is this:

HOW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN INDIANA JONES??

No, seriously, how have you never seen this film?

Stop reading this. Right now.  And go watch Last Crusade.

The last 15 minutes or so have some pretty powerful and philosophical scenes but our focus will be on the scene within the Grail Chamber.  I have embedded it below for your enjoyment.

The quest for the Holy Grail of dieting has been a quest for millions of Americans as well as big Pharma for well over 100 years. Countless diet pills and supplements have been promoted to us as the Holy Grail to ripped, chiseled, six-pack abs and firm tight arms and butts.

“This food and that food will cut through your belly fat.”

“Avoid these foods which make you fat.”

“Do a handstand and rub your belly and bark like a dog 3 times a day, and you will lose 10 pounds and gain a six pack in 4 weeks.”

Yeah. SURE you did.

Sensational claims and promises from fat-burner supplements or fad diets on the cover of Cosmo or Huffington Post are just as empty and false as rest of the chalices Indiana had to choose from. We all want to buy into the flashy, the catchy, or the “hot” item on the market.  Yet, it is the most simple and non-sexy things that get the job done.  The grail of weight loss is about as exciting as a wooden cup.

The holy grail of fat loss is simply this: to lose body fat you must be in a caloric deficit(that means you have to eat less than what you burn/spend).

No “magic” food will do that for you.

No pill will erase your mistakes.

There is no sanctified liquid ingested by Arnold that will melt all your fat away.

It will take time and dedication to exercise and tracking what you eat to achieve your Grail of Fat-Loss.  The goal is the Grail.  The quest is the work you put in.

I have a few suggestions for “tools” that you will need on this quest for your Grail.

  • A Food Tracking App i.e. MyFitnessPalLoseItCronometer etc
  • A Food Scale.  I have this one from Target, I bought it on sale but you can get these for even cheaper on Amazon as well. Just get one that is Stainless Steel as its easier to wipe down and keep clean.
  • A “Compass”: aka an app to track your workouts like Fitocracy, MapMyFitness,Endomondo, etc
  • A Guide/Sidekick: hire a coach who can map out a program for you as well be a source of accountability for those times when your quest becomes tough.

There was a catch with the Holy Grail that Indiana and his father drank from. The Grail could not leave the temple and whomever drank from it could only have eternal life within the confines of the temple.

That Knight should have had his attorney negotiate a better contract.  “You can live for ever but only if you stay in this one spot and never leave.”

That is worse than signing a contract with the Oakland Raiders!

This is sort of how flashy or fad diets work as well. You are told you can never eat these “bad” foods that you love soooo much ever again if you want to live and not die tomorrow.

While everyone else is out having fun and eating ice cream and pizza we are stuck inside a cave munching on “cauliflower pizza” and that weird imitation ice cream that tastes like the wrapper of a Tootsie Pop.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

That is worse than signing a contract with the Oakland Raiders!

This is sort of how flashy or fad diets work as well.  You are told you can never eat these  “bad” foods that you love soooo much ever again if you want to live and not die tomorrow.

While everyone else is out having fun and eating ice cream and pizza we are stuck inside a cave munching on “cauliflower pizza” and that weird imitation ice cream that tastes like the wrapper of a Tootsie Pop.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I will cover more on that in the sequel to this post: Indiana Jones and the (Food) Temple of Boon.

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